nicole

without sounding cliche...

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 16:30:36 GMT

2007! What?! Sometimes I feel like the time passing is not permanant, like you can hit reset and go back to the begining of the level when things get to heavy. I hope that makes since to you. Oh how time gets away. I've been meaning to post in this thing since 2004. Reading old entries, I can't believe these things happened so long ago, but seem just like last year. Anyhow, here we go...

My excuse for not writing before was too much had happened to catch up on, but I guess I will never catch up if I don't start. Somehow between the late night drunkin' dorm posts and now, I have managed to graduate college, get married!!, work a real job (and 4 others), travel abroad, and move to a foreign country. That is a lot for 2 years. Maybe I've just been too busy taking it all in to get too reflective? More like overwhelmed by taking it all in. But here is to 2007, a new year and another new start. And, since I am starting to get a lot of the things I wanted before, or thought were important before, may I learn to be be grateful and learn to take everything I learn and get some good things done with it.

Tue, 10 Dec 2002 07:27:15 GMT

last time i wrote i was talking about boob cakes and PS's and I guess it's been a pretty fun last week of the semester, but it seems like no matter what happens and in almost every situation im left discontent about something. it seems like i need to be doing more and it seems like im not really getting anywhere, just doing a lot of the same. i just have a bunch of stuff i need to get figured out, as always. i still have to live in the dorm next semester, cause mtsu sucks and denied me and shelley's request to get out of our lease. and then i need something exciting to happen i think. well maybe not, i dont know what i need or want. i think that might be the problem.

and im writing again...

Mon, 02 Dec 2002 17:16:25 GMT

psstt, i got the code.
10-4.

after all those livejournal posts i realized that i had had too much cookie and wouldnt be able to sleep. so what do i do? what else. listen to andrew wk and go to ihop til 3:30. and i did get up for accounting!

i just checked my audio for media grade...94!! freakin yes! maybe i beat andrew and shelley....maybe...

class and away.

and my warning is 87%...wha?

Mon, 02 Dec 2002 06:33:53 GMT

here's more:
---POST----

OHshellee: oh well i tried
OHshellee: maybe at least a few people read it and were like "who
OHshellee: whoa
ColorxThexSky: then they will be like...are you on drugs
OHshellee: i cant wait to see mitch hedberg!
OHshellee: this shirt is dry clean only which means, its dirty!
OHshellee: at the end of my letters i sometimes like to write, "p.s. this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated"
ColorxThexSky: like ive been saying...
ColorxThexSky: like ive been saying..
OHshellee: a waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap
OHshellee: a guy said, "here's a picture of me when i was younger." every picture of you is of when you were younger. if you said, "heres a picture of me when i was older" id say "what the fuck? lemme see that fuckin camera"
hat the fuck? lemme see that fuckin camera"
OHshellee: my sister wanted to be an actress. she lives in a trailer though. she half accomplished it. its like shes an actress who never got called to the set
ColorxThexSky: your making the lj
ColorxThexSky: this is great
OHshellee: itd be cool if you could eat a good food and abad food and they'd cover for each other. like an oinion ring and a carrot could travel to your stomach together and when they got there the carrot would say "its cool, hes with me"
OHshellee: waering a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all fucking day

my life has resulted to this...weird 1 am internet conversations...save me:

dudemandane: which one, the weird one with the boob eating
ColorxThexSky: another

STAYxoxoGOLD: Justin isn't online :(
STAYxoxoGOLD: do u personally like haveing them
ColorxThexSky: what, boobs?
ColorxThexSky: ya...we get along
ColorxThexSky: i mean, i feel kind of like they are a part of me or something
STAYxoxoGOLD: "my vagina is the size of a small turkey"
STAYxoxoGOLD: i dont do that(anymore)
STAYxoxoGOLD: "my penis is the size of a small cat"

OHshellee: ok well i guess i will go to sleep now
OHshellee: see you tomorrow
OHshellee: good night
OHshellee: boob
OHshellee: haha!
OHshellee: i was just putting my rockin out book in my bag and i saw where you had written boob on the edge of the cover page...haha
OHshellee: and i had just said that to you!
OHshellee: haha

SleepVsMe: youve been warned so much you cant even get warned anymore

iamthecameraman: you took someone's boobie.
iamthecameraman: and thennnnn

And POW, I got illuminated says:
a little bit of wood-lick
A little bit of wood-lick. What could that hurt? says:
exactly
And POW, I got illuminated says:
what's all this jive about boob cakes?
And POW, I got illuminated says:
are you cheating on ashley? dude i'll totally rat you out
A little bit of wood-lick. What could that hurt? says:
dont tell!
And POW, I got illuminated says:
well i guess if you gotta bite boobs, you gotta bite boobs
And POW, I got illuminated says:
i'm sure she'd understand
A little bit of wood-lick. What could that hurt? says:
ya...im sure shes biting a few

And POW, I got illuminated says:
so, like... is denison witmer single?
And POW, I got illuminated says:
that boy is depressed. he needs a girl to pep him up
And POW, I got illuminated says:
deeeecember 111177

OHshellee: so weird!
OHshellee: and ironic
OHshellee: a little too ironic
OHshellee: and yeah i really do think
OHshellee: fuck ive had way to much sugar tonight
OHshellee: i can feel it in me
OHshellee: i dont know how im gonna sleep
ColorxThexSky: me either
ColorxThexSky: shit
OHshellee: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.
OHshellee: my foot wont stop bouncing!

ColorxThexSky: i cant aim!
ColorxThexSky: eff
OHshellee: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

And POW, I got illuminated says:
i listened to KID ROCK AND UNCLE KRACKER
(((and that POW person is steph)))

annivenge: good night nicole
annivenge signed off at 1:01:39 AM.

ok, im done.

like a rolling stone/sweet tart nipple

Mon, 02 Dec 2002 06:22:09 GMT

SHELLEY WROTE ALL THAT LAST STUFF! Boob cake, what? (i was just informed that because there are 2 boobs it is not a boob cake, but a boobs cake...but it is cookie...wait)

I said Dane, type me Mitch Hedberg since Shelley let you borrow the cd first, he said:

dudemandane: I haven't slept for ten days..........because that would be too long
ColorxThexSky: haha
ColorxThexSky: moreeee
dudemandane: i think big foot is blurry, that is the problem
and thats extra scary to me, there is a large out of focus object roaming the countryside
ColorxThexSky: hahahahha
dudemandane: my roomate says, i need to shave and use the shower does anyone need to use the bathroom? its like a weird ass quiz where he reveals the answer first
dudemandane: its very dangerous to wave at someone you don't know because what if they don't have a hand, they'll think you're cocky......look what i got motherfucker, this thing is usefull...i'm gonna go pick something up
ColorxThexSky: this is great..type the banana one
dudemandane: hold on
ColorxThexSky: shit
dudemandane: hahaha
dudemandane: i'm against picking, but i don't know how to show it
dudemandane: if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up
dudemandane: i bought a $7 pen because i always lose my pens and i got sick of not caring
ColorxThexSky: banana and highlighter!!
dudemandane: i wrote my friend a letter in highlighter but he couldn't read it
he though i was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper
dudemandane: sometimes at night i fall asleep with my clothes on, i'm gonna get all my clothes made out of blanket
dudemandane: two in one is a bullshit term because one is not big enough to hold two, thats why two was created if it was two in one, it would be overflowing
ColorxThexSky: stop!!
ColorxThexSky: freakin warning me
ColorxThexSky: type the banana onbe
dudemandane: my friend asked me if i wanted a frozed bananna, i said no, but i want a regular one later so yes
ColorxThexSky: yess

ahh, college...

oh ya, and "this isn't highschool..."

Gloria Record is tommorrow night. Im there.

best boobs i ever ate

Mon, 02 Dec 2002 06:01:57 GMT

well its true...

i finally did what i always knew i needed to do. just bite into boobs. it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be.. in fact, it was actually quite soft. and tasty. i had a lot of help from shelley though. i couldn't have done it without her. but it was kinda awkward with lauren and keisha walking in all the time. i hope dane or shelley doesnt' catch mono now...

i can't believe andrew missed it too. you would think he would have paid money to see it. oh well he can see the pictures when they come back. i wonder what the people in the photo lab will say when they seem them being developed. haha.

now that everyone knows my secret i wonder what it will be like. i guess everyone always sensed it before but now i have confirmed it. i bite boobs. ive moved beyond talking to them into full on biting.

i can't wait till shelley and i get an apartment. i can bite boobs everyday if we want too. i am counting the days...

haha!!! im talking about boob cookies you silly dirty minded fool!! what kind of girl do you think i am!! sheesh!!

do do do do do dod dodod doo dooo (like the mario theme...well to that effect)

Sun, 01 Dec 2002 04:16:08 GMT

i am in north-left-buddha arkansas.
northwest-middle-of-no where, see there is no cities near to reference.

but i've made it great.
mario 3 officially ties with Tetris for the best game ever.
for three days i've been determined to beat it, racking up lives and P-wings and leafs and using the whistles (ya you remember). and I got to level eight a lot of times and actually beat all the ships and got to the castle. But to no avail! I couldnt beat freakin Koopa. I'm still bitter!!! Other then listen to music, drink fuzzy peach navel wine coolers (my granny rocks), and listen to music in the basement, i've ate lots of food, too much, and went to multiple weird family gatherings, and slept a lot.

before Thanksgiving...

Wed, 27 Nov 2002 05:06:58 GMT

ok.
it's official.
i gave in and got msn.

jessie_nicole@hotmail.com

It's cold and almost Thanksgiving. Where i'll be off to my seven hour drive and Arkansas with the fam.

Oh, I finally watched Harry Potter, the first one, and it was soo good. I was wrong about it the whole time. Should of listened to my little sister.

Anyways, I'm off to study for PF Mullets History of Recording Industry test.

i've been online long enough for this to be found and written out...hahahha

Mon, 25 Nov 2002 05:58:00 GMT

The Best of Fall Break (Sat Night) 2002
Starring Nicole, Shelley, Ann, Dane, and Andrew
With guest appearances by Nina and drunk people outside

“A little bit of wood-lick. What could that hurt?” – Nicole

“Right angle then arrow ya know? I do that all the time and it never started till college.” – Shelley

“But we ate it anyway knowing it was an oxymoron and it could make us sick.” (jumbo shrimp) – dane

“This is not Nintendo! [taking it to the next level]” – nicole

“The thinking of the all most of all – never ending-help! I’m lost and schizophrenic!” –Andrew

“May fallopian tubes yearn for him!” – Nina

“That’s such a Cookeville thing to do.” -shelley

“Ouch did you hear me butt my head?” – unknown

“Scribble, scribble, scribble, lick!” – Andrew

“Andrew do you have to pee?” – Dane (wanting to pee together)

“Have you seen another drunk guy? No that’s me.” – andrew

“Just like jumbo shrimp.” – unknown

“She’s deciding what to wear when you guys have sex.” - unknown

“You’re writing some funny shit I’m sure.” –shelley to nicole

“What does Cookeville mean?” – Andrew
“It means taking it too far.” – Ann
“It means, I’m an idiot.” - Shelley

“I can’t believe you’re not puking.” – Ann to Andrew

“You need to take that off cause it doesn’t belong.” – Ann to Andrew

“Shh. Listen to the smack.” – Dane (hahahahah)

“We’ve got to be mature about this.” – Andrew

“I am dropping it, but every time I bend over to pick it up, because it’s there.” – Nicole

“That’s the last thing we need is knives!” – unknown

“Ok, that’s your dick. Good job.” – Andrew

“That’s your dick. Good job.” – Ann

“Get on your knees.” – Andrew to Dane

“When all comes to all.” – Andrew

“They fucking still haven’t found Mike!!” – andrew (those drunk guys outside who were looking for Mike…)

“Is it going to be better than a hamburger? I don’t know.” – Ann (I’m assuming she means Brian’s dick hamburger.)

“Quit. Is that all you were going to do? I’m glad you’re drunk and missed.” – Andrew to Dane

“Dane’s dick smack!” – ann

“I have huladaness on.” – Dane

“Andrew has a mitten on to touch’s Ann’s (expletive deleted).” – unknown

“Andrew the answer is yes.” – Ann to Andrew

“You’re dysfunctional.” – Ann

“I have to write down Stevo’s email address before it erases.” – who else

“Alright let’s go.” – Ann to Andrew

“We will subside.” – unknown

“You’re an idiot, go to bed.” – Shelley

“Oh yes. Oh man yes.” - Andrew

now this was one infamous night over a month ago that apparently has caused much drama since, or really that trip caused a lot of drama. we might as well laugh now.

awesome weekend, yay!

Mon, 25 Nov 2002 05:19:28 GMT

Once upon a time it was Thursday and I dont remember what I did Thursday cause I had such a good weekend. Wait, I remember! Ok, I cried during Road to Perdition. Poor little kid lost all his family. Then it was really cold and rained. And me and Jessica hung out at Wal-Mart for a while. Don't get that Nestle Very Vanilla stuff...it sucks. Then we pranked called the radio station with the other Jessica. Then Friday came and i went to class from 10-11, learned nothing, remember nothing...then slept the rest of the day til it was really dark. Then me and shelley went over to Courtney's met tons of new people and went to a really tight party. And in the middle we went to Joe's bands show at Faces cause it was his birthday! In which we got really drunk, met all these random people from classes that you never talk to, met too guys that work at the movie theatre that said can get us in free anytime, met tons of cool new people, drunk girl talk, went to steak and shake at 4am in which they let you order off the kiddie menu as opposed to ihop which is lame (the food dont know your over 12), then i slept around 5:30. Then around 3:30 hours later, the phone rings and is dropped, to not be picked up or cared about. But it ends up being Brett when i decide around 12 to take care of it. And he's randomly in nashville, so i make him come to the boro and we hang out for a few hours and go to la siesta with courtney, chris, dane, and her friends from huntsville. Night time=ready to go again. Off to the appleseed cast show which we get in free to work and get a free beer and get to play family feud, name that tune, and snood on the computer. And i let greg harass people on my screen name, aka nick in which we scared to coming into the show. The best part of the night was trying not to laugh when drunk people talk to you, cause if your not drunk, it can be really funny. The show was packed. And it was all CMJ reunion like. Joe, Lief, and Andy came. And it is a fact that Cursive is playing at the Red Rose Jan 18th!!! Freakin Cursive! You have no idea how happy i am. We are going to have to have massive parties. My Birthday is the 13th and Courtney's is the 8th i think, so we need a joint party. ANyways we stayed at the show til 1:30. But the night only just begun cause from there it was off to Mike's in which there was a bond fire and a really drunk girl that was funny. And people jumping through the fire and drunk andrew and dane in which we had to pick up and take to sam's party. It was like a whole CMJ reunion again. And dougy d was there and he got hella pissed over something. Anyways, i didnt really drink at all that night. So, I was the designated driver, eventhough we went a whole not even a mile home. Today I had massive study sessions for history of the recording industry and audi for media. Freakin awesome weekend. I cant believe this semester is almost over.

priorities:
~get the cinncinnati drunk-quote-sheet paper..shelley just got it...here's a prevew: "a little bit of wood lick. what could that hurt?"
~turn in my lame attempt to bs my way out of the dorms next semester
~being excited about January, especailly Cursive

PS: this is what the alphabet would look like if Q and R were missing
(that is Mitch Hedberg style and has to be said with the proper accent)

Thu, 21 Nov 2002 07:06:37 GMT

yay yay, mono and all i'm in a really good mood. james is back in town til friday. it's just like old times. me, shelley, and pete met him at ihop tonight and andrew, danish, and josh came as well. it was great. lets see, i also got some starbucks, um, hot chocolate with courtney and brent (cause i suck at drinking coffee). and oh, got to hear freakin Ian MacKaye speak at MTSU. He is a funny guy. He said fuck a lot, and at one point I think he said that he woke up one day and decided he wasnt afraid of anything anymore. And he meant it too. Nervous, yes, afraid no. The guy is rad. And he had a skate board team, Team Sahara. It's hot in DC, ya know? Well, word has it he is going to the Calvin Johnson/K Records show at the Red Rose tommorrow. I'll be there. Side note, kiesha is in love with greg. see, he gave her barbeque sauce, dreamland, and some soul records...and she was asking, where you been all my life. i dont know. but this was quite possibly the funniest 2 hours of the school year, maybe. lets see, i watched fight club today. in segments or passing out asleep and hanging out and missing accounting again! I talked to steph yesterday. We gossip, could it be about you? Possibly. At the radio show today. Pretty much 5 bands got played, Owen, Hopesfall, Northstar, and Fairweather...haha. And the WK...who is playing with Most Precious Blood in Louisville Dec 3rd!!! Im there! Ok, you have no idea how many people have came up to me and have been like "Nicole, I think I'm sick. You gave me mono." or "I've been sleeping a lot". Not my fault. shoo. xAshleyx just informed me that i inspired her to put a new found glory sticker on her car. i should be proud, i think?
ok, this is for will:

appleseed cast, the paper chase, the damn personals, and the falling at the red rose this SAT!!!! come!!!

Mon, 18 Nov 2002 20:00:33 GMT

this weekend has been pretty sucky i suppose, but i've been too sick to really care. hastings 49cent movie rentals are the best thing ever. i finally saw amelie. and it really was as good as everyone said. lets see, i also rented Suburbia, Go, Rock and Roll High School, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, but the best movie by far that i watched yesterday was the Sandlot. I put it on before I went to sleep and ended up staying up and watching it for the 80th time cause it's quite possibly my favorite movie ever. the hopesfall, shai halud, atreyu show tonight is most likely going to get cut, i really wanted to go though. but i probably won't feel like it after sitting through the 3 hour audio for media class. but im happy cause i got the new rainer maria ep, the new owen cd, and a sampler from polyvinyl in the mail. the owen cd is really good. anyways, i have nothing to say.

mono, stereo, quadraphonics....

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 18:41:36 GMT

Most of this semester i've been really tired. And for the most part haven't thought much of it, since i've been all over the place the last month or so (new york, st.louis, athens, cinn, louisville, huntsville...) i was thinking that it was pretty natural. take my antibiotics and antihistamine and it will be all good, but no. after sleeping through a 12:30 class yesterday, how i dont know, i didn't think it was possible, but anyways, i went to the doctor and found out i have stupid mono. my lymph nodes are hella swollen. and i'm not suppose to be doing anything but sleeping and going to class. it didn't seem so bad before, but since i know i think i've gotten a lot sicker. this sucks ass. i cant even walk to class without getting tired. i guess i need to take it easy for a while so i dont end up in the hospital or rupturing my spleen or such. no arkam fest this weekend or louisville get up kids show. i think i've drunk after pretty much everyone i know. i need to get my mom to come down here and take me to red lobster and wash my clothes and bring lots of tylenol and strawberry kiwi gatorade.

anyways, i finally saw punch drunk love. it was worth all the hype too. it wasn't exactly a comedy, but i think i laughed more then i did during his comedies. only if eating healthy choice pudding could really get you all those frequent flier miles.

pre-knowing-that-i-had-mono week has been really good. the weather was really good earlier in the week. me and courtney sit out in the courtyard for like 3 hours and some dude took our picture possibly for the mtsu webpage. that would be weird. and i helped brent not be a slacker and register for 18 hours of classes. and i changed my schedule a little. next semester i have marketing, artist management, black and white photography, copyright law, and entreprenuership. maybe this mono thing can get me out of the dorms for next semester. i can only hope, and complain. me and shelley have to get an apartment. its a must. tuesday i had my freedom of expression final. and i tore that thing up. my essay was like 6 pages long. it just flowed. want to know all about the liberal trajectory of the court system in interpreting the first ammendment, just ask. i also saw 2 awesome shows this week. tuesday was bleeding through, the hope conspiracy, xtraitorx, and my undying love at the muse. and i probably shouldn't of been there getting my head jumped though. lots of metal. tub of shit, daniel, and jason from flo-town came up and we all went to lauren and pat's after the show. florence has some of the weirdest people i've ever known. then i actually did my radio show wed for the first time in a couple weeks. we found afroman and dan sartain on vinyl, oh yes! daniel, pat, will, anne, becca, and shelley all stopped by. then i went to the indienet to see lickgoldensky (they were freakin scary, the lead singer swallowed a mic at hell fest apparently, and yeah, i can see why) and a corpse named abel played, those guys are really good. im not even too big of a hardcore fan, the shows are just a lot more fun it seems. everything sounds alike anymore. im going to start listening to aall bob dylan, but first i think i am going to go sleep.

everyone go to the WMTS benefit SAT @ the Red Rose and see Mercator, Imaginary Baseball League, uva mala, and apollo up

less writing=more things going on

Mon, 11 Nov 2002 07:10:41 GMT

it seems like time flies by so fast anymore. one priority is constantly being replaced by another and its as though every moment of my life is a schedule with time alotted to whatever thing that is probably not really important in the long run, but seems important at the time, filling it up. but it's not so bad, especially since this time of year seems to be overwhelmed with things to contemplate.

i got an email from my dad, he has been all over germany and now is onto russia. my mom seems kind of upset when i talk to her, but she won't say. in his email he says he is doing a lot of work here and that's about all he can say. right now he is investigating a site where the russians blow up bombs and stuff they confiscate from bosnia. and before that he was working on tests on restraunts and water and such to see what is safe. so, basically we are about to go to war and they are pretty much getting everything ready to send massive amounts of soldiers over there. they say he might be over there longer then six months now.

so today's november 10, 2002. exactly one year ago from today i came home from a zao/fairweather concert to find out one of my best friends ever and a person that i admired so much was just gone like that. no more hugs, smiles, laughing at nothing for hours, backward vandy hat, box talks, girlfriend/boyfriend, math team references, or being triflin the way we were ever again. i miss you so much lee. now i can't recall one time i was ever mad at you, like a real mad. and it seems like we understood each other better then anyone sometimes, especially back in the day when you had the spikey little part and always wore that georgia tech jacket. some people you never forget and never could because they are so great. and and ever since then every thing has been different. no longer am i so naive about my surroundings, the world is not a fair place, nothing about it and every situation is really what you make it. things can turn out good or bad, it's all how you look at them. it's easy to say, but so hard to get to that point of understanding why God makes things how they are. and the best way is to just accept the fact that you are never going to know, you and your realities and opinions are just one of billions in the world and we all just need to get past the petty things in life and see what is important. deciding that and getting there is hard. this weekend could have gone one of two ways. thursday night was a low point. i got really drunk and though it was fun for a while watching jackass and playing wild and crazy kids with skittles (dont ask), it was a horrible night. i got so caught up in feeling sorry for myself. i was convinced that this weekend i was just going to go to hunstville and probably sit on Lee's grave and cry for all the things that really suck right now. But some where in between acting like i was 10 and waking up the next morning and missing accounting class for the 15th time this semester and driving to hunstville, I realized that this weekend didn't have to be like that. crying is not going to change anything or make any situation better. and there is no way i can justify my lameness thursday night with being sad. i am such a weird person i go on these moral spells and other times i am like lets get drunk. shelley says i am bipolar, nah? instead, i had a great weekend. me and ash had a couple good conversations and really not even any tears at all. i wish steph and kristen and more people could have been there. but when it comes down to it, we were all thinking about the same things. dejavu all over again. we went to the mccloskey's to talk to his parents, they weren't there. of course we run into them at the grave site. erica is just as bad as before. its not too good she says. and i say everything is alright. and i dont even know if i really meant that the 100s of times i said that last year then cried. but now i kind of do. things will get better if we let them. and one thing i have from all this is ever since then, i've thought about God a lot more, but lately it seems like i've been more confused then ever as i attempt to let other opinions in and be more open minded. but i know that when i drove home from huntsville today i prayed that everything will be alright. and thanked God for the moment. and thats something.

eventhough i haven't been around mtsu a lot lately, i really felt like i need to go to madison this weekend. there is just something comforting about the first glance of county line road off of 65 and seeing all the campaign signs and from then on out every place that has so many memories. i get teary every time now. but friday was great. you can always count on ashley to give the best hugs. i met up with her and alex, matt, daniel, and matt at the mall, the new mall for the first time, before going to hang out with justin at a party in huntsville. yeah true, it was like a grissom pep rally at times, but it is nice to hang out with different every now and then. the party was pretty eventful to say the least. i had intended on going home sat, but ash and rachel convinced me to stay. we waste the whole day (the half we didn't sleep), at barnes and noble and madison square mall. as much as i was opposed to paying to see it, 8 miles was a great movie. i definantly have a little more respect for eminem. after the movie and making fun of ashley's lesbian stalker's "i see how it is, alright holla" phone call, we pretty much drive around for like 2 hours. and most of the 2 hours included this one mile strip in front of this haunted house out in monrovia that we were going to go into, rigghhtt, but were too scared to even pull in the driveway. we make our own fun out in madison. but it was awesome hanging out with rach and seeing that she is doing well. later on i went over to drew's to visit them and brett. of couse i wasn't going to stay long cause it was like 2 already, but me and drew always get into some stupid argument so i was there for a while. somethings never change.

New York-in

Wed, 06 Nov 2002 22:56:47 GMT

After living like a rock star should for a week off in New York City, I am very much back in Murfreesboro. And I’ve arrived at a few conclusions, first of all, at some point in my life I defiantly want to live in a big city, missing school for a week is not good for your grades, new york is a lot different than I expected, rent is not that bad after all the times I’ve made fun of shelley for it, techno music is getting too popular as far as I’m concerned, hanging out with random people like you’ve known them all your life for one night is the best, airlines don’t give peanuts anymore, the velvet teen is freaking amazing, I still like fairweather far too much for my own good, I have a desire to go to omaha, nothing has prices on it in new york cause it depends on who you are how much it costs, I decided I am going to be a lawyer, and montel williams almost convinced me that must vote, or atleast made me feel bad for not voting.

Anyways, here’s pretty much the 411 for my future reading references. I’ve been in a weird mood all day. Me and shelley were all ready to do my radio show and play all the CMJ stuff we got enlightened with and talk about the new name for the show B.O.O.B., it does stand for something, I promise. My weirdness is partly due to the lack of sleep I’ve been getting. I got back late Sunday night was so glad to breath the moist less colder air. New York air is not better. And stayed up all night reading court cases on obscenity, doing pointless accounting exercises, and studying for P.F. Mullets Histoy of Recording Industry exam (that didn’t even matter cause I read everything and he still put stuff on there that he didn’t even go over, whatever, I’m not bitter at all). And last night I caught the Black Heart Procession at the Red Rose. School aside, I want to go back to New York. It kind of feels like I’ve been gone forever cause I’ve been out of town so much even before that week between St.Louis, Cinn, Athens, and Louisville trips, I’m kind of out of the loop as far as stuff going on around here. Whatever. I guess that is just a part of growing up, branching out and being more independent as far as not depending on the same people to hang out with always. New experiences and such. One of the best things about being in New York was just talking to random people and hanging out with different ones every night as if you’ve known them forever and then just being like alright bye and on to the next. And one of the things that made the trip even better was that me and shelley actually hung out with the people that went from our school that we didn’t know and might have not gotten to know before. It’s cool to hang out with people that don’t have the same interests as you sometime. It keeps your reality from being so one-sided. Especially being in New York with soo many different people with different lives and interests and cultures than you. It makes the world such a bigger seeming place. It seems like living there you are so much more informed and political minded, cause you can’t walk anywhere without seeing an ad for a movie, have someone handing you a political brochure, or pass someone on the street corner telling you to vote or that the world is going to end. This as opposed to say murfreesboro where you can live in a bubble pretty much from the rest of the world only tuning into things you see as important, especially without tv. Fashion wise, people are much more trendy and though they don’t have walmart, McDonalds seems to be taking over. They are even delivering now. Our Hotel was in Manhattan, not too far from Times Square. About 20 blocks, but we walked there before we discovered that the subway wasn’t so confusing and in fact easy. But the hotel was different in that it tried to make up for the shabbiness by being arty. The bathroom didn’t even have a door. A ghetto curtain instead. And one of the guys rooms was nude pics on the wall and then there was the Madonna room with the enima tube. Our room had Chewbacca on the ceiling looking down, I promise. It was defiantly different and very New York-in per say. I’ll get my pictures developed sometime. Pretty much everynight when we came in we would all hang out though, drink, and be entertained by Dougey D. mainly. One night (this is probably a whole lot more funny if you know the guy), he left to get something to eat and came back wasting, whining like a little kid, “I spent $17.50 on drinks for these girls and didn’t even get a kiss, my dad’s going to be mad”. Then he came down to our room and is like, can I sleep with you girls, I’m scared. Shelley, still drunk, gets him out of course and Brandy (boo-boo kitty) who got so annoying because she kept talking about missing her man and telling us to go to bed and get up and stuff. Anyways, Doug ends up sleeping in the hallway. Halloween night was weird. We say no shows. Instead opted first to hang out with some of Shelley’s rent friends. That was different but they were really cool and we got free drinks. Then we tried to go to a bar, eff not being 21. Then we called doug and sam and ended up at this random NYU people party where it was so crowded you couldn’t walk and too dark to see anyone, it was cool for the whole 10 min we lasted there. Got free beer once again, met up with Leslie (who use to go to my high school) and hung out with some NYU people for a while. Then me and shelley end up having a really big life talk/argument later that night that is where I partly decided to be an entertainment lawyer. That and later at the Saddle Creek showcase I ended up meeting and talking to for a while the lawyer for bright eyes and all the saddle creek bands, as well as polvinyl, tiger style, jade tree, and some others I forgot. Anyways, he said to give him a call if I have any questions or need any help anytime. Sweet! Other non-musical highlights were the East Villlage which we spent about a whole day in and probaly 20 miles of walking, central park, and the great pizza places. Yum. I also saw the montel williams show. The theme was reuniting brothers and sisters who have not seen each other since they were a kid or ever. And of course one of the really redneck families was from Huntsville. It was fun though. And Rent was soo good. Eventhough Joey Fatone was in it. We did the lottery and got front center seats. Joey was checking out my socks. He is so not cute. I don’t see how the guy is in a boy band. And these 2 lame chicks paid about $800 to spend 5 min with him. Good thing it was for charity. No day but today. Hhaha. Then one day we tried to go to Domsey’s in Brooklyn, but it is closed down apparently, but we did figure out the subway and manage to see a whole orthodox jew community. It was so different. Not expecting that we would run into anyone we know there, we did. The first night we say the My Chemical Romance guys that had been at Brent’s house sat. That was at the Syndicate party. Then later at the Fairweather, Vendetta Red (who were even better this time), Christensen, Thursday, Boy Sets Fire show we ran into this guy who worked at the subway at the JUB here last year. And then when we were checking out the drummer from My Epiphany from Nashville just randomly walked into our hotel. Not wanting to see Thursday for the too many times, we left that show, and ended up not being able to get back in. We wanted to go see the Velvet Teen, but it was way off in Brooklyn, which everyone kept saying was too far. So, standing in Times Square pretty much overwhelmed and pissed off that we aren’t going to see the velvet teen. These guys from Arizona start talking to us and soon after this local chick with a yeahyeahyeahs purse is like what do you guys want to see. We are like we want to go to Northsix and before we can tell her are names she is jumping out in the road hailing a cab. Which didn’t happen cause they were all full cause CMJ I guess. She is all saying how NY is so boring and anyways, we all get to brooklyn in 20min by way of subway. And are seeing the velvet teen by 1pm. She ends up showing us around some more the rest of the week. Her apt/dorm was in ground zero so we got to see that. Not remembering NY before, I can’t really say, but It seems like NY’s skyline should be taller. It is so weird, just a big whole. It’s a little more realistic after seeing it. And she lives on Murray St. which Sonic Youth’s recording studio is on. And moreover, we have a tight place to stay when we go back. The main conference was at the Hilton downtown. So many bands and industry people, and hot guys by far. Tom from Blink 182 was in the other side of the turny door thing from me at one point, kinda weird. A lot of good bands played the day stage. A lot were techo influenced. I can tell that is getting big. I saw VHS or Beta, Broken Spindles (faint side project), Ugly Casanova (Modest Mouse side project), and I am the World Trade Center. I also got to see Ben Kweller at this really swanky place with mostly industry people. It was soo good. The best day of the trip was by far though was sat. First Jozeph with a “Z”, the king of making contacts at CMJ, got us into the AM/Subpop party. We got free pizza and got to see the velvet teen again, hot hot heat, minus the bear, and party of helicopters. Then later that night off to saddle creek land for the night. We got there an hour early and I about freaked out cause the line was all the way around the block at Irving Plaza. But they let 200 badges in and it was the best show night ever. We chugged a bottle of southern comfort in line before the show and then were rocking out to Desaparecidos, Cursive, Bright Eyes, Now It’s Overhead, Rilo Kily, Azure Ray, and the Good Life for like 8 hours. So fun. Then we had to get up the next morning pack and head back to the boro around 6. New York was so fun and excited. But I am kind of ready to be back and settle down a little. Even though I never seem to get caught up on all the things I need to be doing.

"at night i dream about that smile..."

Sun, 27 Oct 2002 09:48:24 GMT

yay! yay! 2 more days til new york and cmj!
i can't wait.
so, ill be in another time zone mon through sun.

this weekend has been great. me and shelley have had bond time.
we spent all friday driving around nashville and talking and stuff.
mtsu has just been drama filled after last weekend and i needed out.
we meet up with justin over at vanderbilt to go to the counting crows show.
its a whole new breed of todds over there. its so different then mtsu.
and it was weird. just being there and hanging out.
we got offered weed in the guys dorm before the show.
and accosted by drunk avril lavenge singing girls on the way to the show.
it was weird being back there seeing some of the random people that we meet at the beginning of last year the brief time at vanderbilt before lee's death then at the funeral. i know i shouldn't be, but it kind of makes me bitter to see how everything goes on there so carefree and it just seems like things should stop and be different.
in a couple weeks it will be the 1 year anniversary. my life has changed so much since then. and i don't think it'll ever go away.
after the show, we left vandy to party with "rock stars" as brent put it. so we went over there and hung out with the northstar guys. and made fun of the simple plan video.
this week ive been in such a good mood and i think its because i started watching tv more! wed night- dawson's creek. haha. man, its good. thurs i ended up hanging out with brit and kelley and i watched a walk to remember...i was crying so much after that movie. it was so good.
today was nicks birthday. i got all 20 candles on one cupcake. yes!
tonight was the against me, northstar, my chemical romance show at the muse. great show. i got both the against me and northstar cds. rocked out. then went over and hung out with them for a while.
when i get back from new york though, i got to go to huntsville. first thing. and show justin how he is going down because i am tough and took self defense and like that hatebreed song, I WILL BE HEARD.
the first thing i did this morning was draw boobs on my roomate. hhaha..it was weird..she is in band. one of those girls. american pie two straight up. see, she had to wear a costume and she was being girls gone wild. rigghhttt. i drew em.
i got so many things to do tommorrow, watch all my clothes basically, pack, going to work some, study for audio for media and accounting tests mon...and on and on. like the counting crows song they covered.
anyways, this is weird. i am shelleys. on her computer. but she feel asleep. little women is on.
steph, talking to bunnies?
i am changing my name to cupcake. call me cupcake from now on. with choclate frosting and sprinkes. no brown sprinkles.
i need to sleep.
nite.
rock n roll. peace it be. onward.

a lot of miles...

Tue, 22 Oct 2002 05:01:28 GMT

i've been across the country the last few days, well, the southeast in actuality.
fall break spawned a massive road trip.
wed night i found myself in athens,ga seeing midtown and recover (no, the show was not worth the drive, but the drive was fun..all 5 hours)
me, shelley, andrew and dane went on that one.
we drive all the way back wed night, sleep and leave for louisville, ky around 4.
ann joins us.
hang out there, at kristen's apartment, and see minority report and eat some Mr.Gatti's.
friday we head to cinn and meet up with paul and britney at NKU.
off to the anniversary/koufax show.
suppose to be a field party, it got busted, but paul's dad owns an apartment complex so we had an awesome place to stay and hang out both times.
alot of "bonding" and getting on each others nerves some.
sat i finally got to see coheed at bogarts. it was with vendetta red, hot water music, and thrice. awesome show.
back to the apartment hang out all night.
i have a whole page of what random things went on that night and were said. it is so funny after the fact. i'll have to post those.
stayed up all night pretty much.
got up.
drove to louisville.
free pizza at shelley's house.
drove back to the boro.
slept.
i am still tired.
i have so much studying to do before new york next week.
i am glad that i don't have to sleep on the floor anymore.
oh, and i invested in halls cough drops cause my throat hurts now.

"i'm going back now to the time when we sit out all night and looked out to the sky..."

Mon, 14 Oct 2002 04:54:51 GMT

2 days, 2 great shows.
denison witmer at the red rose and indienet.
me and pete bonded, which was fitting since he got me into denison.
and it was perfect cold, scarf-jacket weather for the mood of the shows.

the quizes everyone else has been taking...

Sun, 13 Oct 2002 23:13:44 GMT

Which New Hall girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
(go figure on this one)

Which member of Forever is Not a Wish are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

last night...

Sat, 12 Oct 2002 20:11:10 GMT

hey steph, remember that spring break, 2 or 3 years ago, FL, nothing but dashboard and new amsterdams....and the java pit. i was just thinking about that.

the last 24 hours...
enjoyed my ben folds live while getting some painting done at the red rose. white wash. i felt like i was in tom sawyer. it was great. saw the comedian david altel (from the comedey central Insominac show) at our pep rally, if you can call it that. high school ones were more peppy. mtsu and sports=not that big of deal, but i'm not complaining. i think everyone went for the free food. took a trip to nashville to see Fizzgig, aka I sound like weezer but are shelley's friends from cinn, but me and ann chilled outside because i lost my drivers license. maybe at kroger. this sucks. anyways, then we walked around through downtown, got NY style pizza in nashville and a general jackson postcard. back to the boro for the best party of the year so far at Bryans. Daniel came to the party and brought some flo-town kids, jason and the infamous tub of shit. everyone got really drunk. enough to jump around and rock out to taking back sunday. and some old mexican guy mysteriously and creepily appeared and joined in, joined in as stared at people. there was tons of people there. pat dumped water all over me and bryan got naked and steve passed out on the couch, steve style. then me, ann, and andrew took over shelleys room around 3. and it sucked when i had to get up a few hours later and make the 2 and a half hour track to jackasson to visit my parents. and upon arrival my mom got pissed off cause i crunched a crouton too loud. so basically i went home to get on the internet. and i am about to leave in a couple hours and head back to the boro for the denison show. but i don't mind the drive...denison, ben folds, desparecidos, the new amsterdams, oasis, and elliot smith is pretty much what i have been listening to lately. oh, and the bright eyes/brit mcdaniel split, courteosy of greg, it rocks and there was only 2000 made.

oh, happy birthday to will!

the product of too much cappachino and not being able to sleep

Fri, 11 Oct 2002 16:12:02 GMT

For some reason I find myself still up at 3am, sitting in my room, eating generic kroger cocoa crispies, and listening to dension witmer (cause I left ben folds in my car), who would have thought that this moment would have been like this. And there is nothing profound about this, other than the mere thought of the moment and why I am here and past aside, who knows what the next moment is going to be like. Something about the way it has been raining enough all day as to keep my red converses soaked and for me to not even having noticed it til now, makes me think of how much I am too concerned with the future. I should just be happy with being young and having lots of options, places to go, people to see, choices to make, and those should be good things, not stressful. The thing I miss most about madison is our long meaningful talks that always made things so much clearer when they were done and for once I was able to see the whole picture.(thanks andrew for our conversation tonight) And it’s so much better when you have people that completely understand where you are coming from. It’s weird how coming from completely different places people’s lives can be so parallel. Maybe things aren’t so complicated, it’s so great to have friends that I feel like I could tell anything and they would completely understand. It seems like you never get the full picture of anything til after the fact, and in that case, something about the mood of tonight had me thinking a lot about where I am with my life right now. But not so much that, but how I got here. When thinking about other people and trying to understand things, I guess all we have is our own life to look at. And there is no absolute truth in life, everyone has their own reality made up of everything they’ve ever felt, heard, and been exposed to in life. And that is important to keep in mind when trying to understand people and why we fall in love and don’t fall in love and what one feels is wrong and right and why things happen how they do. Nothing is certain in life, that’s for sure. I sometimes think about my life and all the things I wish I would have said before to people, that can’t be said now and all the things I wish I would have done different, but then again, I am pretty lucky to have it so good now, to be where I am. And that kind of makes me think we don’t know what we want anyway. And it makes sense just to lay back and let things happen. Let God decide things. I mean, who else would know what’s best for you. So all the things that I wanted to happen that didn’t, it’s probably all for the better in the long run. As much as I try to pretend and ignore things sometimes I feel bad when I do something that I know is wrong. And it doesn’t really matter what that wrong is or if other people try to rationalize it to you and make it ok for the moment, when it comes down to it, you have to live your reality. You’re the one that has to wake up in the morning. And I know I am not going to grow closer to God by half-assing everything and pretending like it’s ok to do what I want and what is fun, but I am not perfect and it is important to no matter what just keep up with God in your heart. I’ve had countless conversations on religion that go no where and truthfully that is not something you can hope to convince people of in one talk, it’s something you have to show them, a feeling of faith they have to have that just comes from living and looking at the world. I couldn’t imagine the point of life without God. What, to make ourselves happy? Only if it was that easy. Only if we could really make ourselves happy that way. It seems like that is so hard to get, but once you do everything is so different. Harder maybe, cause you kind of have a standard to reach for, but so much better. It is just hard to get past all the initial questions of why God would do this to us and all the possible contradictions that can be explained if you look close enough. All the things that once bothered me and still do sometime. I use to be so jealous of other people who had been going to church their whole life when I started going to church regularly around 11th grade, but then I realized that that didn’t matter and it wasn’t any easier for them to believe. And I couldn’t use that as an excuse. The rest kind of just followed in place. I miss Lee a lot, especially at this time of the year, and I feel like I owe it to him and all my friends to think about these things. I only wish I was a more open person. Honestly I find myself 19 and never having recalled a single deep meaningful conversation with my Dad and only some semblance of one with my mom. It seems like somewhere along the way, we stopped talking, well, never really did. And as time passes its hard to make up for all that was never said. I call my house, my dad answers I say hey, how are you? He says good. I say good and I ask if mom is there. He says yeah, let me get her. And then it is bye and then I talk to my mom about material things like what she needs to get me from sams club. How was class. And such. They know none of my friends except Stephanie, and lee, and know nothing too much about me or my interests. And it’s not completely my fault but kind of. I don’t want to take the time, to be that open, to subject myself to criticism, maybe, but why? I said at the beginning of last summer that the whole living in jackson thing would be a good opportunity to get to know them maybe, didn’t happen really. Everything is so superficial, frustrating, and I hate it. Why does every thing have to be so complicated? I wish I at least knew my dad’s favorite band. And I find myself agreeing with shelley that we are both weird with relationships and that we’re never going to be normal. I use to use the excuse that I was in love with someone I couldn’t have, but I think now that I look back maybe that was a defense so I really didn’t have to fall in love. And I say I want everything to be like in Serendipity. And it would be so much easier if I could just when I was 26, fall in love, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. But, yeah. I find when I do find someone I like, I feel guilty for neglecting my friends, and lose interest, is that bad? Or is it that I just have never really found someone I like enough? Or not met the right person. I just know I am just sick of all the couples laying all over each other in the dorm lounge. I mean, lame. And I don’t even want to go on dates. I just want to not have to worry about this. Maybe I am weird. And while I am on a roll, I miss my grandparents and it seems like I am not even close to them anymore. Maybe it’s just because I am not so naïve anymore. Things aren’t so simple as eating pizza and watching TGIF on Friday nights. That’s just not fun anymore, not enough. But why can’t it be. Why can’t I be satisfied with just watching tv and not worrying about things? Maybe cause I have so many questions, so many things I want to do, to happen. But then again, what good is talking about them and never doing anything. What good are having questions without finding answers (dewey dodson…haha). Who knows maybe it’s suppose to be this way, to dream and wonder, but never actually have it materialize, cause somewhere along the way we are all wrong with what we thought we wanted in the beginning. I am not sure, but things have turned out pretty well so far, so I’ll just keep on wondering and maybe one day it'll all be worth it.

Denison Witmer, When I Was a Teenager, and C.O.C.O. @ the Red Rose Saturday night, be there

we've been listening to the novas and ben folds...woo hoo

Thu, 10 Oct 2002 06:00:35 GMT

september 75, i was 47 inches high!!
kiss my ass, kiss my ass, kiss my ass!!!
ben folds is the man.

"ben, my fallopian tubes yearn for you" --Nina

it's getting hot in here, this is too much, nite

p.s. i hate school, i need to get motivated, i need to get creative

Wed, 09 Oct 2002 06:23:57 GMT

i'll color the sky with you, i'll let you choose the blue

mates of state rocked.

st.louis

Mon, 07 Oct 2002 20:28:05 GMT

this weekend was awesome. just what i needed to get away from the monotomy of mtsu. murfreesboro to st. louis, a five hour drive, but i wouldn't even have cared if it was longer because the drive just might have been the best part. windows cracked, sunroof open, the heater on low, a chance to play all the perfect songs to make the trip memorable, gas station cappachino and big bars, hours of conversation on random topics. we left the boro around 11 sat, but didn't actually get out of murfreesboro til 12 because we had lots of stops to make. about 5.5 hours, 3 or 4 gas station stops, one winebago pulling a pirate ship with a parrot in the window, and a wendy's/arby's stop later, we finally saw the arch. and got to see it a while more before we actually got to the venue, because what would a road trip be without getting lost. i let dane drive in the city and he was pretty much freaking out. haha, so we gave him a cigarette, let shelley navigate, and finally found it. all i got to say is that when someone asks me if i've ever been to st. louis, i am going to say i know where pine st. is cause we ended up on there a lot. don't rely on yahoo maps always. anyways, we found it finally, along with ashlee, ashley, and jill. there was tons of kids...mostly to see thursday i think. saved by grace opened up, then engine down, they were alright, but a little too mellow for me. from autumn to ashes didn't do too well, they screwed up their best song, "short stories with tragic endings" and didn't even end up playing it. but, Cursive was amazing. all i got to say is that i want to move to Omaha and live in the saddle creek world. there is just something different about all those bands. tim kasher is so amazing. and the cello chick went off. and we got the best seats right on the ledge by the merch tables. there were too many kids to get up in all that. we were rocking out to every word. thursday was alright, i can totally see how they got big, they are a great band. but i am kind of getting tired of the same old. and the show wasn't nearly as fun as seeing them at the muse with a couple hundred people. they did play one new song though. it sounded like all the rest. but the show was amazing. afterwards, ashlee, jill, and ashley end up driving all the way back to nashville, but there was no way we were about to do that, besides where is the fun in that. so, we drove up 64 East, got a cheap motel 6, told the hotel people we were all 17 except shelley and got away with paying only $45. and by the time we got there it was already like 2:30, so we just smoked and watched taxi cab confessions on HBO and police chases. sun we got up right before we had to check out, 12. and went back to st.louis since we were all the way here. we drove around the arch and were going to go to that mcdonalds that i went to one time under it, but apparently it's not there anymore. instead we ended up going to the mall downtown and walking around the city some. we leave st.louis around 2 and see the nashville skyline around 7, just as the sun is going down. now i am convinced that all i want to do in life is get an endless supply of money and no obligations so i can just drive from city to city, seeing all the open fields in between, and the skylines when i get there. the weather this weekend was perfect as well. the air was cold, but the sun was bright and on the ride back, it rained a little, but not enough where we had to close the sunroof. and at times we were all singing along to the music and it was great.

rock n roll

Sat, 05 Oct 2002 06:26:30 GMT

off to st. louis in 10 hours to see CURSIVE, thursday, from autumn to ashes, and engine down. me, shelley, will, and dane be road tripin. be back sunday. oh yeah!